On Sunday, Linguist scans through his list, Long List of Symbols for Britain’s Lingo.
It was a long list, with 25 symbols:
Linguist knows that it isn’t final. “It still isn’t a full lingo,” Linguist thinks. What is missing?
Linguist calls in his assistant, Patois, to assist him.
Linguist asks, “What is wrong with this Lingo, Patois?”
Patois thinks for two hours, and says: ”I can’t think of a solution to finish Britain’s symbol list, sir.”
Linguist furrows his brow. Constructing Tagalog, Russian, Spanish, Mandarin, Arabic, Hindi, Wu, Marathi, Tamil, Italian, Punjabi, Urdu, Turkish, Min, Gujarati, Maithili, Polish, Ukrainian, Malayalam, Kannada, Oriya, Hakka, Bhojpuri, Thai, Amharic, Romanian, Kurdish, Dutch, Pashto, Hausa, Oromo, Sindhi, Yoruba, Somali, Lao, Malay, Igbo, Malagasy, Shona, Zhuang, Hungarian, Fula, Tamazight, Zulu, Kazakh, Tajik, Nyanja, Haitian, Lombard, Kongo, Akan, Albanian, Hmong, Yi, Tshiluba, Ilokano, Uyghur, Bulgarian, Kinyarwanda, Xhosa, Balochim Hillgaynon, Tigrinya, Catalan, Minangkabau, Makhuwa, Santali, Batak, Afrikaans, Mongolian, Bhili, Danish, Finnish, Gikuyu, Slovak, Swahili, Guarani, Kirundi, Romani, Tswana, Kanuri, Kashmiri, Bikoi, Qusqu-Qullaw, Umbundu, Konkani, Wolof, Dholuo, Maninka, Gilaki, Shan, Tsonga, Galician, Sukuma, Yiddish, Kyrgyz, Waray-Waray, Lithuanian, Luganda, Lusoga, Kimbundu, Hindko, Rajbangsi, Garhwali, Bambara, Gondi, Latvian, Kamba, Luri, Kapampangan, Tiv, Brahui, Gbaya, Zarma, Dogri, Lingala, Sasak, Hurux, Mundari, Dinka, Zazaki, Tulu, Lingurian, Sidamo, Bashkir, Yao, Chuvash, Ijaw, Fon, Swati, Irish, Tatar, Makasar, Gusli, Chin, Vlax Romani, Sara, Pangasinan, Tonga, Lampung, Sardinian, Scots, Dong, Tay, Nahuatl, Afar, Dagbani, Koli, Chiga, Tumbuka, Gogo, Tamang, Bai, Mandinka, Jula, Haya, Abron, Alur, Walloon, Malvi, Kinaray-a, Ho, Nyakyusa, Gwari, Lugbara, Naga, Susu, Tausug, Kabardian, Ryukyu, Magindanaw, Maranao, Bini, Gujari, Tharu, Yucatan Maya, Ndonga, Kwanyama, Mari, Frisian, Avar, Friulian, Lozi, Udmurt, Kalmyk, Moksha, Mapudungun, Dargin, Ingush, Limousin, Karachay-Balkar, Buryat, Corsican, Samoan, Sakha, Komi, Wayuu, Aromanian, Kumyk, Gascon, Nama, Tuvan, Miskito, Navajo, Maori, Amis, Highland Totonac, Lak, Orizaba Nahuatl, Tahitian, Arpitian, Tongan, Ladino, Tabasaran, Atayal, Altay, Voro, Nogai, Paiwan, Chamorro, Khakas, Kalaallisut, Kashubian, Sanskrit, Cook Islands Maori, Ticuna, Aguaruna, Bunun, Romansh, Rutull, Ladin, Inuktitut, llanito, Mbya Guarani, Sioux, Ashaninka, Huichol Taba, Agul, Kaiwa, Mahi, !Kung, Tuamotuan, South Ucayali, Khanty, Chiripa, Chayahuita, Tuvaluan, Shor, Zuni, Huambisa, Lakota, Chukchi, Huitotot, Achuar-Shiwiar, Cashibo-Cacataibo, Dolgan, Saisiyat, Rapa Nui, !Xoo, Ajyininka, Apurucayali, Jaqaru, Candoshi-Shapra, Kaka Lagaw Ta, Ludic, Inupiaq, Mansi, Carolinian, Warlpiri, Bora, Cashinahua, Innuinnqtun, Minica Huitoto, Culina, Chipaya, Walmajarri, Ottomanish, Inari Sami, Skolt Sami, Ingrian, Washo, Livonian, Votic, Latin, and binary lingos is not difficult. Why is Britain’s lingo so mind-wracking?
Linguist calls in his No. 2 assistant, Argot.
Linguist asks, “What is wrong with this Lingo, Argot?”
Argot thinks a bit. Argot is thinking, thinking. Argot thinks for four hours, and finally knows. Although, not actually.
Argot says to Linguist, “I found by logic that only a symbol is missing. Find that missing symbol, and Britain’s Lingo is full and final.”
“That’s right!” Linguist says happily, hugging Argot tightly. “Thank you, Argot!”
“It was nothing, Sir,” Argot says.
Linguist says to Patois, “I will sack you, a lousy assistant.”
Patois hastily says, “I am not lousy, not lousy! I found out by logic information about our missing symbol.”
“Go on,” says Linguist.
“Look,” Patois says, pointing at a gap adjoining ‘Dd’ and ‘Ff’.
“That’s right too, Patois!” Linguist says. “I will not sack you for providing this information.
“But what is our missing symbol? What is its look? A whorl? An oval? A curl? A zigzag? A pointy hat? With four prongs, or just two?
“Argot and Patois, assist your Linguist.”
Argot and Patois say in unison, “You, Linguist, sir, inspiring our missing symbol’s look is difficult for lowly assistants. Only you can do it.”
Linguist thinks. Linguist thinks hard. Linguist cannot think of a solution.
“Thank you, assistants Argot and Patois. I want to think solo. Do go away until I call you back.”
Linguist thinks for six days. Linguist subsists on yogurt and Coca-Cola, food that is stimulating for his logical pathways.
Linguist thinks for six months, and finally knows.
Linguist calls in his assistants, Argot and Patois, to show his amazing solution.
Linguist draws at a gap adjoining ‘Dd’ and “Ff”, a fork-noggin and a half-oval with an outgrowing curl from it.
Linguist’s Long List of Symbols for Britain’s Lingo is full and final, finally.
“That, Argot and Patois, is my missing symbol.”
If you didn’t understand the point of the above story, it is a lipogram; something is missing. :D